


Clueless

by jacemorgensterns



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27308299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacemorgensterns/pseuds/jacemorgensterns
Summary: Draco is a college student living in an apartment with his roommate Theo. He occasionally gets into trouble and always gets away with it. When his luck is threatening to turn on him Hermione comes to to the rescue and an agreement between them forms that eventually spirals out of control.A Dramione romcom AU with as many romcom tropes I could fit in from Draco's point of view. One-shot.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 98





	Clueless

**Author's Note:**

> In celebration of my beta reader's birthday. This is for you, C, have a good one. 
> 
> Also, I apologize beforehand to everyone who likes Cormac McLaggen as a character; I do too, but every romcom needs a standard bad guy and it being Ron was too easy. It's cheesy, it leaves open ends, not every plot twist adds up perfectly; it's a romantic comedy if you ever read one. Enjoy.

Draco screwed up.

Yes, that was the most nonsensical statement he could have made, because screwing up was admittedly his specialty. He got into trouble loads, but also always managed to fix it. Experience in screwing up meant he also had experience in fixing it. That was an issue, because he took bigger risks and got into worse trouble knowing he would probably be able to fix it anyway. If actions had no consequences, what was the point in thinking of those consequences? He could do whatever he wanted and that was exactly what he did.

How he had the cops chasing him through a busy street was another matter he didn’t want to get into. There were Reasons. These Reasons were relevant, relevant to himself and to his best friend Theodore and especially to the cops, but not relevant for the reason why he screwed up. He didn’t screw up because the cops caught him. As if. No, he screwed up because of the solution he ran into when he tried to figure out how to get rid of the cops. 

The easiest way to shake off cops (not that he had experience doing that,  _ of course not)  _ was entering a building and hiding there. They couldn’t check every building in the perimeter. If he got lucky they didn’t check the building at all. The cops usually lingered around, but two could play that game. He could stay inside of whatever building he ran into until the cops got called away to deal with another crime in another place. That was when he could leave and the problem had gone away. This time, however, it created a new problem.

The place he ran into where he was convinced the cops wouldn’t search for him, was the bookstore. People who committed petty crimes didn’t read books, of course. Little did Draco know that the person who was least likely to help him and most likely to kick him out, nose turned up because she would consider herself above whatever Draco thought he was doing, was working in the bookstore he walked into to put herself through college. As he entered the bookstore, breathing heavily and the hood of his sweater that he wore underneath his leather jacket covering his hair, he was met by the sight of an unamused Hermione Granger. 

He knew her a little. They both majored in History and had a few classes together. Usually, Draco sat at the back of the class with whatever friends he’d managed to make whereas Hermione sat in the front by herself. She did all the homework and knew all the answers. She seemed to attend all the lectures. Clearly, her drive and her ambition to graduate top of her class was second to none, and Draco could respect that much. She was also allergic to anyone not doing their homework or attending all the lectures, though, and that was why Draco never even bothered talking to her. Them talking would not end well. 

Hermione studied him up and down, eyebrows frowning. She was wearing a dark red formal cut shirt and Draco noticed she wore her hair loosely, something she didn’t do in class. It looked good, he decided. It was also beside the point, because she was looking at him as though she’d heard the rumours about him and decided that all of them were true. They weren’t all true. Half of the people he was rumoured to be dating he wasn’t dating and people didn’t have the slightest clue how much money his parents actually owned.

Draco beat her to speaking. “Can you hide me? I need to get rid of the cops.” If the answer was no, which it was going to be, he would just use the back door and run in the same direction the cops had come from. They were still on the other street and would completely miss him. 

For a couple of seconds, Hermione seemed to freeze. Draco was waiting for the inevitable negative response when she moved. She checked if the cops were coming their way before her gaze met his. “Come with me,” she said and hurried her way through the store. He wasn’t stupid enough not to follow her. 

The room that Hermione led him into turned out to be the storage area with shelves filled with books and a few boxes standing to the side. She let him in and immediately closed the door behind him. The store had been mostly empty with only two other customers in the store, both by the writing supplies that they seemed to be studying. College students looking for the best notebooks to make notes in, Draco guessed. No one else knew he was here. 

He could hear Hermione speak at the other side of the door, but couldn’t hear the conversation word-by-word. It wasn’t a very long conversation by any means. He couldn’t tell if it was the cops or a random customer. Whatever it was, he wasn’t chancing coming out of the storage area anytime soon. Instead, he waited a couple of minutes longer, able to occupy himself just fine with all the book titles of the books standing around. He hadn’t read half of them when the storage area’s door opened and Hermione was standing in the doorway.

“They’re gone,” she said. “They came in here asking about you because you look like a college student with your hoodie and this is a college bookstore. So not only did I hide you, I lied for you.” And she sounded every bit as annoyed and frankly appalled about that fact as Draco predicted she would be.

“Thank you,” he said. “That was very kind of you. How can I repay you?” Money wasn’t an issue and it seemed to be for her, so he was sure a couple of hundred dollars would make her disgust with the situation go away very easily. That was another thing that Draco learned from being in trouble: money could buy him a way out of situations all too often. There was not a person in the word that wasn’t susceptible to bribery if the amount was high enough.

Unfortunately for him, Hermione Granger did not ask for money. Instead, she regarded him again and smiled then. “I know just the way,” she said. “I need a boyfriend.”

“You need a boyfriend,” Draco repeated, unsure where she was going with that. Did she want him to set her up with someone or something? He knew plenty of guys who would want to give her a chance. 

She shook her head, seemingly at herself. “I don’t need a boyfriend,” she corrected herself. “No self-respecting woman  _ needs  _ a boyfriend. But I need a boy to pretend to be my boyfriend so I can prove a point to my ex-boyfriend and some people from my old school that also went to college here.”

Draco still didn’t know where she was going, exactly, but he was starting to have an inkling. Hermione didn’t seem like someone who cared about what someone else thought, but that was apparently only the impression she was giving off. She didn’t change her habits because others were making fun of her for it, but she did want to prove them wrong. That was a new approach that Draco hadn’t seen before. Usually, the person mocked changed whatever people were mocking them about.

“So you want me to be your pretend boyfriend?” Draco asked, double-checking to make sure he was understanding it right. He was hoping he wasn’t.

Hermione cocked her head to the side and was quiet for a couple of seconds, clearly studying him. “Yes,” she said then. “You’re popular and people like you for some reason.” The undertone implied that she yet had to figure out why, which was offending but not surprising. “So can you do that?”

If the alternative was her calling the cops on him? “Yes, absolutely. ” The other option was the worse evil, Draco felt. “”For how long do you need my services?”

“Just a week,” Hermione said. “We should go on a pretend date next Tuesday and attend the Halloween party Cormac McLaggen is throwing on Friday. That’s all I ask.”

“Two dates and a week of telling everyone I’m dating you?” That wasn’t that bad considering the other option had been getting caught by the cops. “Deal.”

“Deal,” Hermione echoed. “I’ll see you at school on Monday.”

When he told the story to Theodore and Pansy on Saturday, they both broke into fits of laughter. Apparently something was funny about how he, the most emotionally unavailable person they knew, managed to get a girlfriend. It was not like it was real, but apparently being asked to be someone’s fake boyfriend was still better than never having been asked at all. They seemed to see it as a step forward. Draco just saw it as a debt that he would pay, as agreed upon between Hermione and him. 

If anything he felt like this scheme only proved how unavailable he was. He’d rather agree to a fake dating scenario than ever actually date anyone, period. From what he knew about Hermione he didn’t find her likable, but he was starting to doubt that a little because she did save him in the bookstore. He didn’t think she would have. Alas, there had been something in it for her, making it a selfish good deed, and she had to know there was no way she’d find anyone to fake date her unless they owed her. Maybe that made her as scheming as he was. That he could like about her too. 

**Monday**

During his Contemporary History class on Monday, a class name filled with contradictions that their professor promised they would get into and seemed to have forgotten about that promise since, he told his classmates sitting nearby him during the break that he’d found a new girlfriend. They bonded over their mutual love of books and history alike and both agreed that Hegel was the most important modern philosopher. That he didn’t actually think that and doubted that Hermione did was beside the point. A lie was more believable when details were added. 

“But then who are you dating?” Michael Corner asked, who was sitting beside Draco. Draco had spoken to him a couple of times and concluded he was clever, albeit not excitingly interesting. For now Michael was useful enough, because he was asking the right questions.

“Hermione Granger,” Draco replied matter of fact, frowning lightly as though in thought. “Maybe any of you know her? She also majors in History but she’s in one of the other Contemporary History classes. She works on Monday, I think, in the bookstore on-”

“Hermione Granger?” repeated Mandy Brocklehurst, interrupting Draco in the process. That was exactly the kind of surprised response Draco had been looking for. “That...” She paused, as though looking for the words, “clever girl with the curly hair?”

Her choice of words made Draco want to laugh, but he managed to hold it in. “That’s the one,” he said easily, a little grin playing with his lips that he had been unable to suppress. “I have said time and time again that the combination of clever and pretty is hard to find, but she’s both.” Not a word was a lie about that. 

Beside him, Michael looked like he was thinking really deeply. “Is she the one that always knows the answers to whatever the professor asks?” he tried, pulling a face at it. 

“I did say she was clever,” Draco repeated before taking a sip of his water bottle. “We have a few classes together too. It’s gonna be so nice sitting with her.” He leaned back against his chair afterwards, eyeing both Mandy and Michael, and smirked. He didn’t think pretending to date someone would be quite so fun. Maybe Hermione was onto something here. Did she also want to fake their break-up?

That was when the professor interrupted their chat by continuing his lecture about the space policies and space programs of the United States and Sovjet Union both. Draco concluded that he must have gotten the news out now. Both Mandy and Michael would undoubtedly spread the rumour and it would only be a few days until whoever Hermione wanted to know also knew. Whatever her ploy was (Draco wanted to know, but he doubted she would tell him), part one certainly was a mission accomplished.

Later that day he agreed to meet Theo after the other’s class. Walking into the university building he had his eyes glued on his phone (Pansy had sent him a funny meme that he had to respond to immediately) and therefore didn’t see that Hermione was standing in the hallway he entered until she was standing in front of him and he almost walked into her. At first glance she looked like she was about to scold him for texting and walking at the same time, which should be perfectly safe when classes weren’t finished yet because everyone was in class.

“Hi babe,” he deadpanned dryly. The eye-roll was the predictable response and made him grin.

Hermione glanced around the hallway briefly before speaking. “I know we didn’t discuss boundaries on the fake dating,” she started in a hushed voice, as though someone would overhear, “but if I asked you to kiss me, would you? It’s fine if not, but -”

“I would kiss you,” Draco interrupted her. “If you want me to. It doesn’t bother me.” She wanted it to be realistic, didn’t she? And he enjoyed making out. It wasn’t like she was offering him to do something he would go out of his way not to do because he didn’t like it. 

“Okay,” Hermione said. “That’s good. Thanks.”

He was about to ask her why she asked at all when the door of a nearby lecture hall opened and students exited the room. Hermione and him stepped aside to let them all pass by on their way to the entrance hall of the building. Theo’s class was on the second floor and apparently it was almost time now, so Draco wanted to go find him. Frankly, he wanted this vague conversation over with. 

“Why did you ask?” Draco tried.

“Because -” Hermione started and then paused. She looked into the crowd, then turned back towards him with a determined face expression. “Kiss me. Please.”

She wanted him to kiss her in the crowded hallway of a university building? Hermione really wasn’t taking half measures to prove a point, but he was pretty sure he didn’t know anyone coming out of the lecture hall and they mostly had the same classmates due to studying the same major. Her eyes were still on his though and he said he didn’t mind kissing her (truth be told, making out was one of his favourite pastimes), so he did as told (not a common occurrence) and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer towards him with his hands on her lower back.

It was a disgusting display of public affection if he’d ever been a part of one. 

Seconds later, they were disturbed by a voice that addressed Hermione. Regardless she took a couple of seconds longer before she broke the kiss, and didn’t exit his personal space at all. Instead she cuddled up against him, an arm wrapped around his waist, smiled at him and turned to look at the person that spoke then. 

Following her gaze, Draco concluded two things when he saw the man that spoke. One, he was pretty sure he’d never seen him before. While he didn’t have the best memory for faces he was convinced he would have remembered this one. The reasons for that had to do with conclusion two. Two, Draco didn’t like him just going by how he looked. He didn’t like the smug smirk. He didn’t like his choice of clothes (only pretentious bastards wore a suit to a college lecture). He didn’t like the calculating way he looked at Hermione. He didn’t like that he was tall, easily taller than Draco. He didn’t like the disgusting cloying scent of his cologne. He just couldn’t stand the man.

“So you do have a new boyfriend. I thought you made it up,” the man said.

Hermione giggled, something Draco wanted to pull a face at. Hermione didn’t giggle. He reined it in and instead wrapped draped his arm over Hermione’s shoulders and smirked at the man that was still smirking at them. 

"I don’t see why she would make that up,” Draco said before Hermione could speak. He looked at her with a light smile. “As you can see, I exist. Why don’t you introduce us, babe?”

He thought Hermione probably wanted to roll her eyes at the repeated use of ‘babe,’ she didn’t seem the type that liked terms of endearment, but instead she smiled right back at him. “Draco, this is Cormac McLaggen, my ex-boyfriend. Cormac, this is Draco Malfoy. He’s my new boyfriend.”

Draco beat Cormac McLaggen to offering to shake hands. “Ah, I wondered who the foolish man was who ruined his chance with this gem,” he said. “How are you doing, Cormac?”

McLaggen shook his hand, squeezing it, and Draco squeezed back. It was with a pained face expression that McLaggen let go, but it cleared quickly. “Malfoy? The heir from the apothecary company? I heard of you.” 

Draco looked at Hermione, smiled briefly and looked back at McLaggen then. “McLaggen, you said it was? I didn’t hear of you, I don’t think. I guess we can’t all be talked about. ” He turned back to Hermione then and kissed her cheek. “Babe, we should get going. We have reservations in a restaurant I will not mention because it is a surprise and we wanted to stop by my place for -” That was where he paused and raised his eyebrows, smirking. “Stuff,” was how he dryly finished his sentence.

“Well, don’t let me keep you,” McLaggen said. “Are you still on for the Halloween party on Friday, Hermione?” It was at that point that McLaggen turned to face Hermione and turned away from Draco completely, something that made him chuckle.

“Of course,” Hermione replied. “I’ll be bringing Draco as my plus one.”

“We look forward to it very much,” Draco chimed in, undertone as though he’d rather be eating spiders instead of going to a place that no doubt had decorations of them somewhere. 

“Okay, see you then,” were the words that McLaggen left with in a last whiff of cologne.

Draco waited until McLaggen was far out of earshot until he spoke. “If you dated that and now you’re fake dating me, your taste in men is absolutely horrible. No offence, Hermione.” “None taken, I think,” she replied. “It’s a long story. I went on a double date on the insistence of a friend and she set me up with him. He seemed nice enough at the time, albeit a little self-involved. But I figured most people are self-involved and I could do worse. Turns out he was more full of himself than I thought possible and after we broke up, he insinuated that I would never find a boyfriend again. My friend doesn’t get why I broke up with him either, so I said I met someone else.”

“That person is not your friend if they treat you that way,” Draco replied. She didn’t owe him an explanation of any sort, but now that she gave it he understood better what she was trying to do. That McLaggen guy was a douchebag and her friend was not particularly perceptive. “He is the mayor of douchey town. He strikes me as a guy that you can make fun of in his face because he doesn’t realize you’re talking about him because you couldn’t possibly. The fact that he thought you made up your new boyfriend honestly infuriates me.”

“But I did,” Hermione pointed out logically.

Draco wrinkled his nose. “Well, we’re involved now, and General Douchebag doesn’t have to know that we faked this. We can do much better than just making out in the hallway where he happens to have to walk past to exit the building.”

“What do you suggest?”

It was at that point that Theo arrived as well. Draco had completely forgotten that he was supposed to meet his best friend, but Theo didn’t at all seem mad. They clasped hands in greeting and Draco flashed a grin at Theo before they both turned their attention back to Hermione. If Draco also carefully took a step out of Hermione’s space, no one needed to realize that. 

“This is the elusive fake girlfriend, I presume?” Theo queried. He offered to shake hands. “Hi, I’m Theo. Political science major and Draco’s friend, not in that order.” Definitely in that order.

“I’m Hermione,” she said as she shook Theo’s hand. “Nice to meet you. I thought Draco would tell people we were dating, not that we were fake dating.” Draco couldn’t suppress a chuckle when he heard Hermione’s annoyed undertone and the words she spoke.

Theo shrugged his shoulders. “We’d never believe him,” Theo said. “He doesn’t date. He’s an emotionally closed off trainwreck that does whoever he pleases. I think this is great, incidentally. Pretending to date is a step towards dating.”

“Yes, and pretending to not share my stuff with you is a step towards not sharing my stuff with you,” Draco replied, eyebrows raising at his best friend before he turned back to Hermione. “We agreed on a date tomorrow. I’ll make dinner reservations and I’ll pick you up in front of the building at six?” That way they didn’t need to exchange any personal information like addresses and phone numbers. 

Hermione nodded. “That sounds good. I’ll see you then. And I’ll pay my half of the dinner, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried about that. See you then!”

Draco and Theo made their way through the hallway towards the exit of the university building. Draco noticed his best friend side-eyeing him, he wasn’t being particularly subtle about it, but he ignored it in favour of finally finishing his message to Pansy about the meme. Once he sent the message they exited the building and walked over the stairs in the direction of the university library. 

“Whatever it is, say it now. In the library they’ll shush you if you speak.” It sounded like he was kidding, but Draco had been shushed before at the library. Then again, he could be pretty loud so he didn’t really blame the student for doing it.

Theo chuckled. “You like her,” he said pointedly. “You already said she was clever, meaning that you actually noticed, and she’s pretty too. The two of you were standing a little too close together when I arrived and you seem very comfortable talking to her. Furthermore, you weren’t comfortable humiliating yourself in front of her while usually you’re just fine doing that. So you like her.”

“I am fine humiliating myself in front of her! I told her she had terrible taste in men, including the ones she fake dated.” Theo would understand if he’d met Cormac Douchebag McLaggen, Draco thought.

“Well, she does, especially the one she fake dates,” Theo agreed, earning him a light shove in his ribs that only made him grin. “Draco, you don’t have to be embarrassed. We’ve all had crushes before. It’s very normal.”

“I don’t have a crush on her. I hardly know her and I find her very annoying.”

Theo sighed theatrically. “The first stage of a crush is always denial,” he said dramatically, talking with big hand gestures now. “Denial is not a good look on you, Draco. You’re usually a fine liar but this is bad. Of course you find her annoying. You don’t want to have a crush on her.”

“You make me not want to have you as a friend.”

Theo merely laughed. He was still laughing when they entered the university library through the big revolving door and entered into the ever-impressive entrance hall with a floor of marble stone, the in-library coffee store to the left and another big staircase to walk to get to Draco’s favourite second floor, where the most important pieces of the history collection were stored.

“Second floor?” Theo guessed.

“Yea, I want to research my essay topic for Contemporary History,” he replied. “I’m not as interested in the Space Race as I expected to be, so I want to zoom out and see what I missed.”

“Maybe you could write about love in the Cold War,” Theo suggested.

Draco was inclined to work in the coffee store instead.

**Tuesday**

The next evening, Draco arrived at the main university building at the agreed on time. He tried dressing up a bit to make it believable he was on a date, so the usual jeans were replaced with nicer pants, he wore a formal cut shirt and a suit jacket underneath his coat and tried his best to fix his hair. It would have to do. He’d made the dinner reservations for a place that served Italian food only a couple of blocks away in the heart of the city. If they were lucky someone could pass by and potentially see them there.

Hermione was already there and raised her eyebrows upon seeing him. “Hey,” she greeted. “You do clean up well, hair done and all.”

“One of my better qualities,” he agreed dryly. That was also when he got a better look at her. She’d let her hair loose the way he concluded the week prior he liked it better and was wearing a skirt with a red formal cut shirt. Before Draco knew what he was doing, the words were out of his mouth. “You look pretty. I really like your hair this way, and red is clearly your colour. That shirt looks stunning.” He would have taken it back if he could have.

Thankfully, Hermione didn’t make a big deal out of it like his friends undoubtedly would have. “Thank you, Draco,” she merely said with a light smile. “Shall we?”

They walked to the restaurant, where they were led to a table by the street side window by their waiter. Draco pulled out the chair for Hermione which made her side-eye him, but she didn’t comment. The conversation was pleasant and the food was good. They both had the spaghetti which Pansy urged him three times to order because it was so good and when Hermione said he had good taste, he declared he had an inkling about it instead of giving Pansy any credit. They split dessert because they were both too full to have an entire dessert, which was something friends did all the time, and ordered coffee after. 

By the time they exited the restaurant it was hours later and Draco had no idea where the time went. He had of course heard that time flew by when you had fun, but he didn’t think he was going to have much fun and he told Theo he would certainly be home by ten so they could continue their binge watch of Community. It had already passed ten when they exited the restaurant. His roommate would not be amused, but it would definitely be overshadowed by the fact Draco spent the entire evening on a date with a girl that his roommate was convinced he liked. The evening had a better chance ending up with Draco being annoyed with Theo instead of vice versa.

Until then, Draco had the end of the fake date to deal with. It had been about being seen and taking pictures for social media more than anything to make the lie believable, but that didn’t mean he would let Hermione walk home on her own through the streets of the city in the darkness. It also didn’t mean he didn’t have a good time. It was nice to sit down and talk to someone who was pretty and clever, as it turned out, but it was probably nice because he knew it didn’t mean anything and therefore there was no pressure behind it.

“So other than the mayor of Douchebag Town, have you ever dated anyone before?” Draco queried as they exited the restaurant. Of course he’d paid, and told Hermione not to even think of paying and that it wasn’t chivalry or anything of that sort when he’d just been dying to try out the restaurant and all his friends refused to come with him because they didn’t like Italian. That it was untrue and that she probably knew it was beside the point. Who didn’t like Italian food?

“I had a high school sweetheart, as they call it,” Hermione replied with a little smile. “His name was Ron. He was on our school’s football team. He played some position in the defense that I don’t remember. It was nice, but we went to colleges far away from each other and we couldn’t make long distance work.” She shrugged her shoulders. “And then there was Cormac, who as you know turned out to be…-”

“A douchebag,” Draco offered.

Hermione side-eyed him briefly, then chuckled. “My choice word was self-absorbed, but that works as well. Maybe I got lucky with my first boyfriend, I don’t know.”

“He sounds decent. I guess you really struck gold: a decent football player. Those are incredibly rare.”

That earned him another side-eye from Hermione. “I apologize if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure you played football in high school. I once heard you say that football players get the farthest in life because they learned the skill of learning absolutely nothing from a book and getting away with everything because of their status. It was quite ironic coming from a History student, so I remembered it.”

“I’ve been told one time too many that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so I started specializing in irony instead,” Draco explained matter-of-factly. “It’s true, though. At our high school, at least, football was considered so important that the football jocks got away with everything as long as they won games. That taught me I could get away with everything, period. Not a good lesson, really.”

“I would imagine not.”

It was silent between them as they continued their walk. They passed by a twenty-four hour open corner store and a pub that was filled with students. The air was getting colder that time of day, so Draco pushed up the zipper of his coat to the edge and put his hands in his pockets. He looked up at one of the university buildings briefly when they passed it by, admiring the artwork on the front, and shot a look at Hermione afterwards. She seemed to be deep in thoughts. 

“Is that why you were running from the cops?” she asked then. “Do you think you can get away with everything and therefore do things that require you getting away with them?”

Draco wished it was as simple as that. It wasn’t and he didn’t intend for it to happen again. Just because he disagreed with some specific laws and the cops disagreed with his disagreement, didn’t mean they needed to chase after him as though an actual criminal. They saw him as such, he was aware of that, but he still found it completely ridiculous.

“No,” he said. “I don’t believe I am above anything. I have, for a while. Back when I was in high school, I was a pretty bad person. But the privilege of being a bad person that gets away with everything is really horrible. I couldn’t live with myself like that. If I knew that what I was doing was wrong and no one was going to correct me, I was going to do it myself. And I did. What you witnessed last week has nothing to do with my belief that I can get away with everything.”

Hermione seemed to ponder whether she wanted to ask what it was, if not him acting recklessly because he wanted to. He knew it came across like that. She didn’t ask, though. “I didn’t think I would ever be covering for anyone in front of the cops,” she said with a small smile. 

“Well, I didn’t think I would get to experience that Hermione Granger is a good kisser, so that makes two of us in being surprised,” Draco offered in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. 

It worked; Hermione chuckled. “If it exceeded your expectations, I guess it won’t be so bad to do it again on Friday,” she said. “Though I never asked about you. Did you ever date anyone before this fake dating situation occurred? Your friend, Theo, implied that you didn’t when we met the other day. That’s odd to me, since you’re proven perfectly date-able.”

It was Draco’s turn to laugh then.He had been called many things throughout his life so far, both flattering and unflattering, but perfectly date-able was not on his list yet. It was a nice compliment to get, especially considering he didn’t think of himself that way at all. People shouldn’t date him. He wasn’t dating material for a number of reasons, including but not limited to his emotional unavailability. 

“I had a brief fling in high school,” Draco said vaguely before explaining. “I was a football player. Everyone had girlfriends. It was kind of mandatory. I learned I enjoyed making out and that was that. Ever since my preferences with relationships have been the kind of the shorter term, rather than longer.” He looked aside at Hermione, then declared: “A brick wall is more date-able than me. At least a wall is consistent.”

“I doubt a wall is as good as a kisser as you,” Hermione teased. The teasing undertone surprised Draco, but it was a pleasant surprise. He liked that she was comfortable enough to tease him. “You don’t have to reply if you don’t want to, but what makes you so uncomfortable about commitment and relationships?”

It didn’t bother Draco to tell her. They were friends now, after all. “Probably the messy homelife,” Draco said. “People hear about the apothecary and assume my family is rich and that we have it all. That’s not quite the case. My family is a very special case of a complete mess that I don’t talk about but has made me very allergic to any sort of commitment anytime soon.”

“I’m sorry, that must suck,” Hermione said softly before offering a piece of information about her family. “Both of my parents are dentists. A couple of years ago they opened their own practise together. They thought it would be great, but working together all day and seeing each other during the evenings and weekends did seem to take its toll on their relationship. It was a very stressful time. It’s probably nothing compared to what you went through, but -”

That was where she trailed off, as though she wasn’t sure what the point was that she had been trying to make. Draco thought he could interpret it. She wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone in feeling that way about his family, even if she may have only experienced it to a lesser degree. He was thankful for it, being honest. He didn’t often share anything personal with people that he didn’t grow up with like Pansy and Theo and while it was strange to do it, it felt sort of nice.

“Thanks,” he said. “I appreciate it.” He briefly wondered if they expected Hermione to go into dentistry as well, considering they had their own practise and all, but she had clearly chosen her own path. History was something else completely. 

Draco did something completely out of character then. After he looked aside at Hermione briefly (he met her gaze and smiled at her), he reached out for her hand and took it into his. Her hand was warm. He swung their arms back and forth together lightly just to get a feel for it and smiled briefly to himself about it, only to spot Hermione watching him from the corner of his eye, a little smile on her face. 

It may be the most romantic thing he had ever done. 

They walked in silence for the rest of the walk. It turned out Hermione lived quite nearby him and near the restaurant. The both of them passing by the main university building they agreed to meet at had actually been a detour. Draco guessed that his security measures in place to make sure he didn’t have her address failed now, and just as it occurred to him Hermione suggested they exchange phone numbers to coordinate for the Halloween party that Cormac McDouchebag would be throwing. One last meeting to prove a point before the fake relationship was over.

Phone numbers exchanged, they both lingered awkwardly in front of the building’s front door. Draco wanted to look at anything but Hermione, but he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. He was positive he had never felt like this before and wasn’t sure if he liked it at all. 

“I’ll see you Friday, then?” Hermione asked.

Draco nodded. “Yes. Friday. We’ll message about it, of course.” He had absolutely no reason to keep lingering around the way he was and keeping her from walking inside, but he certainly was doing it.

It seemed he was gathering courage. It wasn’t going fast enough. Maybe he didn’t have it at all. Instead of kissing Hermione like he wanted to, Draco instead leaned in for a quick kiss to her cheek and a smile afterwards. “I’ll see you Friday,” was his parting remark before he turned around and left, accidentally in the other direction than the one he was supposed to head to.

**Wednesday**

The next evening, after a class that Draco spent sitting next to Hermione in the front row and making more notes that he’d ever done before during a class, he was meeting with Pansy and Theo in the apartment Theo and him shared for their usual movie night on Wednesday. He hadn’t said a word about his fake date with Hermione, which felt a lot like a real date, to Pansy and Theo hadn’t said a word either. In the twenty-four hours since the date he had been able to reason it away: it was a fake date, so of course they acted like they were dating. It was a date, after all. The atmosphere and the walk back to Hermione’s apartment just got to them for a moment but neither of them acted on it, and that was the most important part. They both knew it was fake.

“You’ve been unusually quiet,” Pansy remarked when the end credits of  _ Clueless  _ were rolling after the blond main character Cher and her Ant-Man got together and there was a cut scene of a wedding that Draco couldn’t put into perspective. 

Draco leaned back against the couch that he shared with Pansy to be able to look at her. “I thought it was one of your biggest pet peeves if people disturbed you by talking when a movie was being watched.”

“Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean you don’t often make at least one remark to tease either one and both of us. Cher’s driving was begging for a comparison with Theo, but you didn’t even seem to think it.”

“I’m not that bad a driver,” Theo protested. He got side-eyed by both Draco and Pansy. 

Draco made an attempt to explain what he’d been so occupied with during the movie. “Well, we need to pick essay subjects for Contemporary history next week and I thought I wanted to do the Space Race but then the Professor lectured about it and I almost fell asleep and -”

“Cut the crap, Draco,” Pansy interrupted. “Even your wallpaper knows it wasn’t the Space Race you were thinking about. So what is it?”

Draco looked aside at Pansy and studied her for a couple of seconds. She was pretty. She had her hair braided back from her face and wore a green shirt with black jeans. He knew, objectively speaking, that his best friend was pretty. He had eyes. But he’d never felt about her the way he felt about Hermione, who he in comparison hardly knew and found annoying until very recently. It was way outside his frame of reference and his favourable instinct was to ignore it until it went away.

“You look pretty today,” he offered.

Pansy immediately rolled her eyes at her, as though she’d been waiting for an excuse to do that or knew a remark was coming that she was going to want to roll her eyes at. “That’s not an answer.”

“But it is,” Draco said. “I think you look pretty, but that’s that. I also think Theo looks pretty.” Pretty was, for whatever reason, an adjective that wasn’t often used for men. A man was handsome and a woman was pretty and Draco didn’t care. Both his friends looked good and were therefore pretty. It also wasn’t what he was trying to point out at all, and this tangent proved he really didn’t want to but should get into it. 

He saw Pansy exchange a glance with Theo, who was sitting in the armchair next to the window, and realized it sounded like he was doing something completely different than admitting he had a crush on a girl. Time to fix that before he got very different questions about himself. “I know people look pretty and all that stuff, but I never put much thought into it beyond that because that was touching territory I was uncomfortable with. But now I accidentally have done that. I met a girl that’s pretty, clever and funny and undoubtedly a lot of other things I yet have to find out.”

Pansy drew the correct conclusion from those words alone, but she had to ask. “So you have a crush on the girl you’re fake dating? That’s -” She paused for the sole purpose of rolling her eyes again and pinching the bridge of her nose. How he could be called the dramatic one in their group of friends he wasn’t sure. 

“Classic,” Theo finished her sentence, who seemed quite comfortably draped in the armchair and was smirking. “Classic Draco Malfoy. He says there is no way something will happen, so inevitably before the week is out it has happened. It really is time to start putting money on occurrences like that.”

Apparently he now was a way to make easy money. Draco glared at Theo for that, who was still smirking like the insufferable bastard he could be, and turned to look at Pansy then. “I don’t know what to do. There is no way in the world that she actually likes me.”

Theo interrupted. “I want to bet twenty that she does actually like him. He said there is no way, so he has to be wrong.”

Much to Draco’s annoyance, Pansy actually indulged him. “I will take that action,” she told Theo, grinning, before she turned her attention back to him. “For someone so arrogant you have really low self esteem sometimes,” she told him, frowning at the thought of it. “A girl doesn’t just ask anyone to fake date them. There has to be at least something about you that she finds appealing enough to want to spend time with you. And that fake date? No one that’s fake dating does that.”

“We needed it to take photos for social media,” Draco corrected her. “Dating isn’t believable when it isn’t on social media. That’s how the world works these days. And our fake dating match was a matter of convenience, remember? I owed her a favour and she needed one.”

“They made out,” Theo said as though that would prove a point.

“Well, people who fake date do make out,” Pansy said, clearly considering it. “Who initiated it?”

“She did,” Draco replied. “But only because the ex-boyfriend she wanted to prove a point to was nearby. Needless to say, the point was proven.”

“I still think she likes you,” Pansy said before nodding towards the screen of the TV. “If that movie taught you anything, Drake, it has to be that things don’t go the way you plan them. You planned not to have any sort of long-term romantic connection until you’re well into your thirties, I presume. Well, your life is telling you that your plan doesn’t work. We think she likes you. There’s only one way to find out.” With that, she got up and sauntered into their kitchen. “Did you get any snacks?”

“Cupboard to the left,” Theo replied, then turned to Draco. “She has a point, you know. You didn’t hang out with her before this ordeal so it’s not like you’d be losing a friend if you tell her and she doesn’t like you back. If she doesn't like you, things go back to the way they were. If she does like you back, you may have a girlfriend. You can’t really lose.”

That could have been a correct assessment, but Theo forgot one factor in the equation: Draco’s heart. It was a rather fragile organ that had been broken multiple times when he was younger and all those heartbreaks led him to conclude that it was for the better he didn’t get attached to people unless he was completely sure they wouldn’t leave. He took a chance on Theo and Pansy and that paid off wonderfully, but he was pretty sure that was where his luck had to have run out. If his family was living proof of one thing, it was that people in the end betrayed you and left you with a mess to clean on your own.

But he was not one to admit to having a heart to begin with, though. People knowing that he cared made him uncomfortable. The implication was there in him caring enough to share an apartment with Theo and having Pansy over whenever they could, but stating it aloud was another story altogether. That was precisely what he would have to do if he wanted his relationship with Hermione to progress from fake dating into real dating, though, and that scared him much more than any Halloween party would be capable of scaring him even if McLaggen had undoubtedly would have tried his best at it.

**Thursday**

Draco had not been paying attention. Pansy remarked that he’d been quiet during the movie the past evening, but staring in front of him during a class he usually found interesting was a new low even for him. He was a good student, got good grades and always made at least an attempt to pay attention even if the professor was the worst excuse for a teacher, something that occurred sometimes. People that were good at their subject didn’t necessarily make good teachers and some History Professors proved it as a fact. 

Regardless of it being a new low, staring in front of himself during the most interesting class of the week was exactly what he’d done. Thankfully it wasn’t high school and the Professor didn’t really seem to care when he’d seemed absent-minded. His priority was the fact that Draco had done his homework, which he had. 

Draco agreed to meet with a few of his classmates after lunch, so after stopping by his apartment (which was empty, since Theo liked to plan multiple classes in one day and was therefore gone for most of the day) and having some lunch there, he headed back into the city and to another university building, where his classmates and him agreed to occupy an empty study room to study there. He was the first one there, as it turned out, and in the study room next to the one they booked for midday he spotted Hermione through the windows of the room.

That was where Draco hesitated briefly. His normal instinct if she had just been a girl that he was friends with would have been to approach, but she wasn’t just a girl he was friends with, but she didn’t know she wasn’t just a girl he was friends with to him. It made the situation over complicated and that made him conclude he had to be overthinking it. She was just a girl she knew and any normal person would go in and say hi. Simple enough.

With that conclusion, Draco headed over to Hermione’s study room and opened the door. He was about to greet her when he heard her speak, but it wasn’t to him and she was alone in the room. The voice that replied was clearly from her phone that she put down on the table she was sitting at, next to her books. He was interrupting something and would go greet her later.

He had been about to close the door when he heard Hermione mention his name and he paused. If she had something to say about him maybe eavesdropping wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Information was power and she had him feeling particularly powerless recently. Just one minute would be fine. She would never know as long as he never told her and he certainly didn’t intend to.

“- and if you need to know, Draco is actually quite clever. He didn’t get into college because his parents bought his way in. I don’t believe that. He got in because he is smart and got the right grades for it in high school.”

“I don’t believe that,” the person on the other side of the call said quite haughtily. “This is Draco Malfoy you’re talking about, Hermione. He thinks he’s above the law, just like his family. You’re being naive. Don’t you know about his family? I thought everyone did.”

“What about his family?” Hermione asked.

“Well, rumour has it -” the other voice started and then paused. That was when Draco recognized the voice: Cormac Douchebag McLaggen. Why was she still talking with him, over the phone no less? She’d made it quite clear to him that she couldn’t stand her ex-boyfriend, but apparently that had been a lie. He liked to hear himself talk, and that proved true again.

“Rumour has it that apparently his parents committed fraud and let some other family members take the blame for it. Two of his family members are in prison after long lawsuits. It’s all you get when you search for his last name on the internet. Because their apothecary company is so successful they could hire the best lawyers there were. I also heard that they made other family members give up their shares in the company so they had the majority share back. They’re greedy. They want whatever they set their sights on and they will get it. I just don’t want you to get hurt, Hermione.”

Noble reasons to gossip about the new boyfriend of the ex-girlfriend he apparently wasn’t over? That never happened. Clearly, McLaggen fell hook, like and sinker for the ploy Hermione used. McLaggen believed it and was feeling pretty sorry for himself right about now that Hermione and him broke up. He wanted her back, and as a result he was using the very conventional technique of spreading rumours about her new boyfriend that put him in a bad daylight to convince her that her new boyfriend wasn’t good for her. It was pathetic, really.

“I’m not getting hurt,” she replied. “I know what I’m doing. He paid for my dinner when we went out the other day and he undoubtedly will do it again. I could be a project for him to spend money on and make him feel better about the way his family obtained it and then when I dump him, he won’t understand.”

It took Draco a few seconds to process the information that she’d just told Cormac. By the time he realized that she was playing him instead of them playing Cormac (and perhaps Cormac was even in on it), Cormac had already replied to her words with a clearly pleased undertone in his voice.

“And that will be the first time the poor Malfoy heir does not get what he wants. You are very clever for a woman. It does make me regret our break-up a little.”

“Then maybe we could talk about getting back together,” Hermione replied, sounding coy.

It was at that point that Draco decided to interfere. “Or you could talk about getting back together right now, because our relationship is over,” he interrupted, for Cormac to hear as well undoubtedly. “We’re done.” They were never anything to begin with, but their fake dating was very much over as well.

Hermione had turned around when he spoke and was quick to end the conversation on the phone. “Draco, wait, it wasn’t real, Cormac was only supposed to -”

“Tell you about the rumours about my family and mock me in the process?” Draco ended that sentence. “I heard that too. I’ve been standing here long enough to know you’re a bad liar and he’s still a pathetic douchebag. You two really deserve each other, so good luck with that, Granger.”

“Draco -” she tried, but Draco already turned around and exited the study room, closing the door behind him. 

He immediately encountered two of the classmates he agreed to meet to study with, who were about to walk into the study room they booked. Of the two, it was Mandy who smiled and spoke first. “Hi Draco, did you invite your girlfriend as well?” she queried.

“Listen, I just got a call about a family emergency, so I have to go. I’m sorry. Raincheck for next week?”

Not waiting for the reply, Draco turned around and left, running off the stairs as though in a hurry. He was in a hurry, but obviously not for the reasons he led Mandy to believe. He refused to give Hermione a chance to explain, because that would only make herself feel better and he didn’t want to hear it. She could call her precious Cormac and cry about how her elaborate scheme failed, and she could sit in the front of their shared classes on her own again from now on. 

He wanted to put distance between Hermione and him as soon as possible so she didn’t get any chance to talk to him, so that was what he did. As he exited the building and disappeared into the crowd heading towards the shopping part of the city centre, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Out of habit he checked his screen and rolled his eyes at what he saw. Hermione was trying to call him. Of course. He blocked her number and put his phone in his pocket again. 

When Theo got home later after his long day of classes, he found Draco curled up in a blanket on the couch with chocolate ice cream and a cup of coffee on the coffee table in front of the couch. The TV was on and Draco was clearly in the middle of a Mindhunter binge watch, even though he long finished the series. He studied the sight of it and frowned, but he didn’t say a word before disappearing into the kitchen. When he came back, it was with a bag of chips and another coffee. 

“I’ll order Chinese food later,” was all Theo said before he let himself fall down beside Draco. He put his phone on the table next to his coffee, screen faced down, and opened the bag of chips. “What episode are you at?”

Needless to repeat, but Draco screwed up.

Actions did have consequences and every once in a while there was nothing to fix. His heart got involved, and as a result, stomped on. This time he really should have known better. But he didn’t.

**Friday**

Theo and Draco were on their second round of take-out, pizza, and had gone back to their Community binge watch after Draco finished Mindhunter again. Neither of them had classes that day (if someone had the option to make their own schedule, why would they plan anything on Friday?) and neither of them went outside. Draco hadn’t looked at his phone either even if he knew he blocked Hermione’s number. Whatever people needed him for could wait until he felt better.

When there were only a few pizza slices left at the end of their dinner, the door of their apartment opened. Theo and him looked in the direction of the hall simultaneously to see who was coming in, even if they both knew there was only one other person that had the key to their apartment door. Unsurprisingly it was indeed Pansy that walked in and dropped into the free armchair without any ceremony. Theo was clever enough to pause the show. 

From the armchair she took both of them in. “What are the two of you doing? We have a party to attend.”

“We’re not going,” Theo answered for the both of them. 

“Of course you are.” Pansy leaned forward to get a slice of pizza from the box and chewed it on thoughtfully for a couple of seconds. “The best remedy to getting your heart broken isn’t a binge watch and pizza. It’s second, so it’s close, but the first best remedy is revenge. And revenge is best served cold, so let’s do that.”

“How do you -” Draco started, paused and looked aside at Theo. “You told her?”

Theo shrugged. “Of course I did. You weren’t touching your phone. I was happy to sit with you and watch series with you, but eventually you were going to have to stop wallowing in self pity, change out of these sweatpants and hoodies and pick yourself up. But I’m not good at tough love. That’s her.”

That was true enough. Pansy was a great friend, but she would never sugarcoat anything. Pansy told the truth as she saw it, not as others might want to prefer hearing. Pansy was many things, but none of those were subtle. Theo, on the other hand, was a good friend in the best way he knew how: by going along with Draco in what he was doing and showing his support through that.

“Well, I love you both for helping, but I’m still not going to the party. I am feeling great wallowing in self pity in my hoodie and eating pizza.”

“This pizza is pretty good,” Pansy agreed after another bite. “But we’re still going to the party. Draco, as your friend I’m telling you: you need this. Especially now that it’s still fresh. I can be your fake girlfriend to show Hermione you’ve moved on. If it doesn’t make you feel better, we’ll leave. One hour is all I ask.”

“That’s fake dating to show your fake date you’re over her,” Theo remarked, grinning a little. “That’s actually a good plan. It’s so ridiculous that she’ll never guess it and she never met Pansy before.” He looked aside at Draco then. “What do you say?”

“Fine,” Draco said grumpily as he pushed himself up from the couch. “One hour and not a second longer. But I’m calling dibs on the remaining ice cream when we get back.” It was with a sigh that he headed into his bedroom to change his clothes.

One hour later Draco parked Theo’s car on the side of the road of the posh neighbourhood that Cormac McLaggen apparently lived in. Draco wasn’t surprised. While he hadn’t lived in this neighbourhood specifically, it gave off the air of any neighbourhood that he’d lived with his parents. Large houses with large driveways and a lot of space between the houses. The only thing that was honestly missing was a gate in front of the houses, but it seemed they were not quite posh enough for that. Maybe it was a work in progress. Maybe the house was just to show off, which was just as likely.

“Whose party is this again?” Theo asked, who leaned over the passenger chair to be able to get a better look of where the girls that had just passed by the car were headed.

“Cormac McLaggen’s party,” Draco replied as he turned off the engine and got out of the car. When Theo and Pansy got out of the car too he locked the doors and handed the keys over to Theo. “I hope you get to meet him. I bet he’s the best character to impersonate once we’ve started drinking.”

“Cormac McLaggen?” Theo replied. “Wait, I know that guy. My father used to do business with his father. There is no way in the world Hermione is getting back with that -” He seemed to try and find the right word and Draco was about to offer the word douchebag when he found another description. “Prick.”

“Well, she is getting back together with him, so let’s get this over with,” Draco said as they started to walk in the direction of the house. Prick. He couldn’t say it wasn’t fitting.

It was immediately clear when they entered the street which house was the McLaggen’s house, for it was almost the only one that was decorated with Halloween decorations. There were multiple carved pumpkins standing up and around the porch and the handrails of the porch were decorated with fake cop webs and even a few fake spiders. The music was loud enough to be heard a couple of houses away and Draco saw a neighbour look through the blinds to see what was going on. Cormac definitely wasn’t getting away with throwing this party. If he thought his parents wouldn’t find out, he had another thing coming.

Draco and Theo followed Pansy over the driveway to the porch and into the house. The door was open. In the hallway they encountered a number of family photos, some people talking and a couple snogging against the wall. It was while wrinkling his nose that Draco passed them by, following Pansy into the kitchen. There they found red solo cups and some booze. 

“What is our least favorite snob serving?” Theo informed, who had followed behind Draco.

“It seems like he asked people to bring a bottle of whatever they’re drinking instead of serving much of anything himself,” Pansy replied, who already got a hold of the most nearby bottle and was studying the label. “If I had known, I would have brought nothing anyway.”

“Well, I don’t want a drink anyway, I want nothing to do with this guy and his parents’ -” He paused to study the kitchen and find the most weird thing standing around, “bright yellow cooking apron.”

Theo turned to see if Draco was indeed looking at the apron and blinked at it when he realized Draco hadn’t exaggerated. “That’s offensive to my eyes,” he said. “But then again so is Cormac McLaggen, so I guess that makes sense.”

It was at that point that someone else entered the kitchen from the living room. Draco, like Theo, was standing with his back to the entrance and didn’t notice this until Pansy acknowledged someone behind them with a smile. Theo and him turned around almost simultaneously and were faced with Hermione Granger. 

“I see it’s time to go to another room,” Draco said. “Maybe trash it. I reckon he doesn’t want us to come upstairs, so maybe we can see about that.”

Theo chuckled, but Pansy shook her head and moved to stand in front of him. “Draco, I love you, so don’t screw this up. Listen to her and use your words.” With that, as if it made any sense at all, she turned to Theo and offered her arm. “Let’s go find out if there is an actual party instead of just music and booze and leave these two to talk.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Theo replied with a light grin as he linked his arm with hers. Seconds later they left the kitchen and were out of sight, leaving Draco with Hermione.

Draco believed that Pansy believed that revenge was a dish best served cold, but that it was clearly not applicable to this situation. Instead, she dragged Theo and him all the way to Cormac McLaggen’s parents’ house just to get him to talk with Hermione, who he had nothing to say to. Blocking her phone number should have gotten that message across, but some people were apparently just stubborn that way. 

It was with a sigh that Draco pushed some bottles aside and sat down on the kitchen island counter in the middle of the kitchen. He lifted his feet up and put them on the counter in front of the kitchen island. Once he was comfortable enough, he turned to look at Hermione, eyebrows raised. He had nothing to say, so it seemed wiser that she should talk. She was good at that.

“I’m sorry you heard what I said and I’m sorry I said it,” she started. “You weren’t meant to hear it and I didn’t mean it either. It was all part of my scheme. I was trying to make Cormac believe that he still had a chance with me so he’d be more disappointed today when I would for once and for all reject him.”

Draco chuckled. “And you want me to believe that why?”

“Because it’s true,” she said, and seemed momentarily puzzled that this couldn’t be reason enough. Then she gave another reason. “Because I like you.”

That response made Draco pinch the bridge of his nose out of frustration. “Sure you do,” he said. “I always talk about the person I like to my exes over the phone as well. I listen to my exes belittle them and then imply I’m only using them for their money.”

“I told you I’m sorry about that part, but I didn’t mean. It was only so Cormac would think that’s how I felt, but I don’t actually feel that way.”

She’d already said that and Draco didn’t believe her a minute ago either. He wasn’t sure why Pansy took pains to set up this meeting. Clearly Pansy believed Hermione and he wasn’t sure why because Pansy usually wasn’t naive. She told him to use words and not screw it up, but he had nothing to say and there was nothing to screw up anymore.

“I don’t believe you and I don’t think we should talk anymore.”

“Draco -”

It was at that point that resident Douchebag walked into the kitchen. Maybe he’d been eavesdropping, but it felt more likely to Draco that he walked in without the slightest idea what was going on. Men that were that self-absorbed didn’t check who was in the room before walking in. They just entered knowing whoever was in there would find him the most interesting thing in the room.

“Hermione,” he greeted and immediately approached her, completely ignoring the fact that Draco was in the room as well. “I’ve been looking for you! There’s so many people here I want you to meet. But before that, we need to confirm our relationship status. I can’t introduce you to anyone unless I know for sure you’re  _ my  _ girlfriend again.”

The slight emphasis on the word  _ my  _ gave Draco the creeps. That was right in line with the supposed Halloween theme, but certainly unintentionally. Cormac made it sound as though him introducing her to people, undoubtedly people with influence of some sort knowing the other’s background, was conditional to making their relationship official again. He could not understand why Hermione would get back together with that douchebag.

“Actually,” Hermione started, her voice a tone that Draco didn’t recognize. That made him turn towards her slowly. “I’m not interested. At all. Cormac, you are a terrible human being and no self-respecting woman should ever date you. The fact that you thought you could go out with another girl, make out with her and tell me we weren’t exclusive yet despite us having discussed that over messenger the night prior told me everything I needed to know about you.”

Draco felt like he should have brought popcorn for the show. Hermione Granger was not done with Cormac Douchebag McLaggen yet. 

“I don’t need your connections or your family money and I especially don’t need to see you around me anymore. I honestly pity the next girl that falls for your lack of charm. We’re still over, this will never happen again and don’t try calling or messaging me, because I have your number blocked.”

With that, she resolutely turned to face Draco. “Can you take me home, babe?”

Despite himself, Draco laughed at the use of the pet name he’d used on her at the beginning of the week. He hadn’t made up his mind just yet, but this certainly made him believe her more. It also made him want to believe her, which he certainly didn’t at the beginning of the conversation.

"Sure can,” Draco said. With a grin in Cormac’s direction he offered his arm for Hermione to take after he got up from the kitchen island counter. She took his arm, and together they walked out of the kitchen.

“Do you believe me now?” Hermione asked when they entered the living room, which was filled to the brim with people dancing and drinking. 

“I’m more inclined to believe you than before,” Draco replied. “But that doesn’t mean I do, yet. It also doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Hermione looked aside at him and seemed to want to protest for a couple of seconds, then changed her mind. “That’s fair enough, I guess,” she agreed. “Do you want to get out of here?” The way she grinned then made Draco think she had finished her revenge plans and was satisfied with it. If nothing else, Hermione had proven this week to be much cooler than people made her out to be.

“Well, if you want to put up with my two best friends, we can get out of here. We drove here in one car.” That reminded Draco of something else, and he looked aside at Hermione briefly before letting go of her and pushing through the crowd to get back to the hall. When they both arrived at the hall, he asked what was on his mind. “How did you get a hold of Pansy?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t,” she said. “Pansy got a hold of me yesterday. She said Theo texted her about what happened and wanted to hear the truth, because she doubted that your version of it had the full information. When I explained to her that it was part of the scheme she didn’t believe me at first either, but I told her about our dinner date, sharing our dessert and the walk back. I wanted you to kiss me at my front door and I wanted to kiss you, but I think we both doubted too much.”

It was at that point that Draco knew exactly what to do. He stood still and turned to Hermione, meeting her gaze. She looked pretty, he registered absent-mindedly, much like that day in the bookstore, that day they went on a fake date and basically every other day he saw her. He leaned in slowly and waited for her to do the same. When she did and their heads were only a few inches apart from each other, he just had to ask.

“Do you want to make out? Should we even do that here?”

“Well, our first kiss was in a crowded university building hallway, so the romance bar is quite low. I think we should.”

He could work with that. He leaned in until their lips were almost touching, smirked briefly and then kissed her. His hands traveled to her upper back whereas Hermione touched his face with one hand. Now they were the couple snogging in the hallway that others could wrinkle their noses at. That felt nice. The snogging was also quite nice.

Of course, Pansy decided that was the perfect time to interrupt. “You have a room at your shared apartment in the city, use it,” she commented while they were still kissing.

Draco broke the kiss, rolled his eyes and sighed briefly. “You don’t know what you want,” he said, eyes still on Hermione, and he leaned in to kiss her again, but only briefly this time.

“But I do know what I want,” Pansy said. “I want you to be happy, but I don’t want you shoving your tongue down a girl’s throat where I can see it.”

That was fair enough. Draco took Hermione’s hand into his and the two of them followed Pansy and Theo back outside, past the steps of the porch and the driveway. When they arrived at the car, Theo paused before getting in. 

“Did you break up with McLaggen, in the end?” he asked Hermione.

She shook her head. “I never got back together with him. I just made him think that I wanted to. He invited a bunch of people to his party that he wanted to show his girlfriend off to. Apparently no one believed he had a girlfriend. I can see why.”

“Poor Cormac McLaggen,” Pansy deadpanned, and they all laughed. 

**Later, much later**

Draco was nervous.

What started as a fake date in the nearby Italian restaurant, ended them up in a wedding venue in the woods. The location was gorgeous. As it turned out, Hermione was even more so. He’d abandoned using the word ‘pretty’ when it came to his fiancée and soon to be wife and now used words like beautiful and gorgeous and always meant them. Hermione Granger was something else and she looked absolutely stunning in her dress as she walked her way towards the altar where Draco was standing.

Cormac McLaggen wasn’t invited. He’d gone on to date a bunch of other girls. He never learned. 

Draco got a job as a Professor at their old university. He hoped to be doing his job better than most of his old Professors, some of which were his colleagues now. Hermione was working on her third book. Draco loved bragging about his clever fiancée, who was a successful writer and who he brought cups of tea when she was working late. 

Theo and Pansy both attended the wedding, Theo as his best man and Pansy as the maid of honour. They brought their long-term partners as their dates. Theo and him still binge-watched their favourite TV shows together every now and then and every month, the three of them had a movie night. Thankfully rom-coms seemed to be made faster than ever these days and they may never see them all. 

Draco’s heart hadn’t been broken again. He’d been surprised by that, at first, but eventually he wasn’t anymore. Hermione helped him out once all those years ago in a bookstore and suggested they date. They never stopped. Only difference was that it was real, now.


End file.
